Mom Guilt: What Causes it and 5 Tips for Managing it

Estimated time to read 4 minutes

As a mom, we spend our days (and nights) trying to do the best for our family—taking care of the kids, managing our household and career, spending time with our significant other, and everything in between. It’s a difficult balancing act.

Unfortunately, no matter how much we do or how hard we try, it never feels like quite enough. Our own unrealistic standards of what a “good” mom is, coupled with a culture that historically undervalues women and their contributions, make it nearly impossible to avoid the feelings of mom guilt.

What is Mom Guilt?

Mom guilt is the feeling that you aren’t doing enough or that you don’t compare to other moms. Unfortunately, there isn’t usually a single cause of mom guilt—there are often many. Some of the common causes include choosing to stop breastfeeding, returning to work, “too much” screen time, letting your child eat “too much” junk food, receiving criticism from another parent or family member, and the list goes on.

While we may not be able to get rid of the mom guilt altogether, here are 5 tips that may help you reduce these feelings.

5 Tips for Managing Mom Guilt

1. Don’t compare yourself to others

The saying holds true—”comparison is the thief of joy”. Unfortunately, it’s hard to avoid it in a time when social media is full of seemingly spotless homes and perfect lives. It can lead anyone to feel bad as they look around their sink full of dishes and floors scattered with toys.

Sometimes the best way to change this is to unfollow anyone on social media that you tend to envy or compare yourself to, as soon as you start to feel affected by their content.

2. Focus on the good

Maybe it was a rough day and you were short-tempered or impatient with your kids (it happens to us all sometimes). Instead of focusing on all the ways you could have done better, end your day by picking out a few things you did well that day.

One great way to do this is by taking just a few minutes before bed to write down the best parts of your day in a daily journal.

3. Simplify your days

It’s normal to feel like you have too much on your plate and you just can’t seem to do it all. Taking steps to simplify your day may be just what you need to free up some of your time.

4. Ask for help

As the saying goes, “it takes a village”. There is likely someone that would step in and help out if you ask—even if this just means being a little more open with your partner about what you need from them.

5. Schedule time to focus on yourself

Taking a scheduled break to refuel your battery means that your family will get a healthier, happier mom. It can be as simple as having your partner or a grandparent watch your kids for a couple of hours one day a week, so you can work out, watch your favorite TV show, or take a relaxing bath.

Written by Jennifer Wirth. Jennifer is a professional health writer, leveraging her scientific background as a Chemical Engineer to uncover the most interesting aspects of infant nutrition, pregnancy, and parenting.